things are a changin'

So my best friend Lauren is moving to Oregon and yesterday was her last day at church. Before I had even left my house I was sitting in bed feeding Gabriella when I realized that we are changing seasons. Obviously for Lauren she's moving to another State and a lot of stuff is changing for her. But for me and my family I feel the same thing. We're not moving or anything, but I still feel like there is a change happening.

Since my blog a while back about making new friends, the Lord has brought so many new people into my life. I'm really excited about the friendships that are being formed because I believe I could learn a lot from these ladies.

I also feel a change that isn't exactly what one might think of when they think of change. I finally feel like our house is our home. On August 26th it will be one year since we closed on our house and September 6th will be one year that we moved in. A few weeks ago I was walking around upstairs and I had this thought/feeling that we were finally settled in our home. It's a nice feeling.

I've been a stay at home mom now for 8 months and I really feel like I'm settling into that title. I have come to the place of feeling happy about what I do and how I do it. I enjoy being home, regardless if we have a car or not. I've been working with Jayden on his colors, numbers, alphabet, words, obedience, etc. and I love having the time and ability to do that! I love being able to watch Gabriella grow before my eyes everyday, she's constantly learning something new.

I also feel like this is the first time in my marriage that there hasn't been a big event about to happen.. like moving to another State, new jobs, a baby, a house, another baby, etc.

I'm trusting that God has something great in store for us, but I'm looking forward to just being home and enjoying the time with my family.

Learning and growing

This has been an exciting weekend for everyone in the Wertzbaugher house.

Thursday evening while Jordan was at band practice I saw a picture of a dog on FB that my friend's friend was trying to find a home for. I've been wanting a dog for a really long time, pretty much since Jordan and I got married, but it never works out. So as soon as Jordan got home I begged him and showed him cute pictures of the dog and we called the owner and agreed to meet him the next day. We went out and bought a bone, collar, leash, etc. and went to meet Tulo. He is a very sweet dog. He's 2 years old, a lab/pit mix, potty trained, house trained and knows commands. In theory he would have been perfect for us.

We brought him home and the kids just went crazy, they were laughing and chasing him. Tulo kept pacing back and forth through the house for about 3 hours until he completely wore himself out. When it came time for everyone to go to bed the only place he wanted to sleep was right on our bed! Well, that wasn't going to fly. So all night long we kept having to encourage Tulo to lay down in HIS bed. But he kept going into the kid's rooms and waking them up. So finally we put him outside in our backyard because we couldn't take him crying anymore.

At 7:30am I went outback to check on him and he had climbed under a broken fence post and was on the opposite side of the gate! Luckily, I found him when I did because a few minutes later a woman running with her boxer ran right in front of our house! Jordan's family came over and helped him repair the fence and brought over a crate. We had to run some errands and didn't want Tulo roaming through the house alone, so we locked him in the crate inside the house and left. When we returned 2 hours later he had broken out of his crate and was barking at us when we walked in. It was late, so we made dinner and then took the kids up to bathe them. Tulo sat by the door and cried the whole time we were upstairs even though he could have followed us. It was at that point we realized we had made a mistake. We were no where near ready for a dog. So we called the previous owner and returned Tulo. I know, anyone with half a heart would say we're the worst people in the world... but at the end of the day, it's our family and we weren't ready and I don't think Tulo was the right fit. He needs an owner who has the time and patience to spend with him.

Tulo taking a nap

Luckily, I called a friend who called her friend who called her friend, and I think we may have found Tulo a new home!!! Praise the Lord!! So I learned a very valuable lesson, don't get a dog unless you're ready!! If you're unsure, borrow one from a friend for a day or so, before committing to adopt one.

This weekend was very eventful for Gabriella as well! Friday night when we brought Tulo home she learned how to crawl, go from the crawling position to the sitting up position and she pulled herself up to her feet all by herself (while holding on to the couch)! I am so proud of her! Now the real fun begins, not only chasing a toddler, but a baby!

Jayden is learning so much right now! I love watching him and listening to him. He's been learning Spanish, either from Dora the Explorer or our next door neighbor.. I'm not sure, probably both! He can count better in Spanish than he can in English. He's learning how to use his imagination and make sound effects.

Jayden and Lizette spending a Summer afternoon together.

Yesterday was my mom's 50th birthday party. We had it at my aunt and uncle's house which was so fun. They have a pool, a trampoline, a hot tub, 3 dogs, a large deck, etc. All my siblings were there and 6 out of 7 of my mom's grandkids were there. This is a big month for my mom, she turned 50 and is getting married in just a couple of days.

Anyways, I'm taking today to recuperate from the weekend... I have so much laundry and cleaning to catch up on!

Abigail, a friend of David's

I've been reading a lot about David in the Bible lately. Yesterday I read the story of David and Abigail. It's truly one of my favorite stories from the Bible. It's a story that shows how a kind gesture can make the biggest difference in someone's life.

(to find the story I'm referring to, read: 1 Sam. 25)

When I was a children's pastor, I was teaching my kids about the fruits of the Spirit. We were learning about kindness and I taught them this story. It so happened that God wanted me to have some first hand experience with this.

It was towards the end of my 2nd semester in college and my roommates and I were starting to butt heads. After being in a 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment with 2 other girls, our nerves were a little raw and needed some breathing room. I can't remember what it was that we were fighting about, but I remember reading this story and thinking, I really ought to act on this. So I made her some cupcakes and brought her my peace offering. We made up within a matter of minutes and went on with the rest of the semester. Let me just tell you, my roommates from my first year, Brandi and Maggie, are two of my favorite people in the whole world! I feel like they are my sisters!

(From left to right: Maggie, Brandi and myself)

I think one of David's love languages was gifts... He was so angry at Nabal that he was going to murder him. Then Nabal's dear wife, Abigail, steps into the picture and brings him lots of gifts and all of the sudden his heart is changed. Can I also recite the scripture that says, "A man who finds a wife, finds a good thing..." (Proverbs 18:22) What's funny to me is that after Nabal dies, Abigail marries David... interesting, huh?

If you're in a tiff with someone try showing them kindness by offering a gift.

Above and Beyond!!

All I can say is, "Wow!"...

Last Friday my in-laws showed up at our house with more groceries than we EVER buy for ourselves, just to bless us. I've never seen our pantry and refrigerator so full! :)

Now, for another blessing! I wrote a few blogs back about how I was praying for a young family with kids the same age as mine to move in next door to us. Then I wrote about welcoming them to the neighborhood and introducing myself. Well tonight I was sitting out front with Jayden when two of the neighborhood girls (Both about 2 years old) came up with their little strollers and sat next to us. The mom of one of the girls is our next door neighbor and she was sitting on her front porch as well watching her daughter play.

First of all, I love living in a neighborhood where there are people of all cultures. Here I am sitting with my little white boy, a little Mexican girl and a little black girl... it was quite cute! Jordan came out with Gabriella and before we know it we're laughing and talking with our new neighbors, showing them our house, checking out their house, etc. Let me remind you, the mom (Lizette) doesn't speak English, so I'm having to step out of my comfort zone and speak in Spanish.

Anyways, they are a young family. The dad is 22, the mom is 21 and the little girl is 2! Jayden and Lizette (the baby) were running through the neighborhood laughing and drinking their juice from sippy cups... My heart was very full watching these two kids who don't speak the same language (not that they speak much of any language) running around playing and laughing together. Lizette is a stay at home mom as well, so it's going to be fun getting to know her.

I don't know why I'm so surprised that God answered my specific request, but I am.

Provision...

God is so faithful!

In my last post I told you about an impossible situation that I'm facing right now and how I was full of faith that God would come through for me. Well He has!!

The only people who knew the details of this situation were me and Jordan. We've been praying since Monday for God's provision because we were extremely tight on money. We didn't know how we were going to be able to fill our gas tank and our pantry. Monday I stood in my pantry making a list of all the meals I could make from the food we already had when I noticed Gabri wouldn't have enough baby food to make it 11 days. So I prayed and asked God to supply baby food. I didn't say anything to Jordan about it until after he came home. When he walked in the door he had a Wal-Mart bag filled with baby food that someone had given him at his work!! God knows our every need!

Then Tuesday Jordan's mom went to Safeway and bought us 5 cobs of corn, a package of fresh strawberries and package of ham... I'm pretty sure she didn't know we needed groceries... but God knew.

This leads me to our next surprise from God. I just got a phone call from my mom. My dad made me a bunch of furniture growing up and Jordan and I are going to go pick it up this weekend. She told me she emptied out the dresser and found a Christmas card from my grandparents to me. She wasn't sure what year it was from but it had $20 cash in it! That will be enough to fill our gas tank until Jordan gets his next paycheck!!! The cool thing is that we were praying for God to send unexpected money... that was very unexpected to say the least!!

On Monday I was almost feeling sick because I was so stressed out about how we were going to make it almost 2 weeks with very little in our bank account. After spending time in the Word and in prayer I was ready to face this giant! Now after watching the Lord provide for these needs that only He knew about, I am overflowing with faith!

David Vs. Goliath

In my quiet time today I read the story of David and Goliath (1 Samuel 17). I got a revelation as I was reading it.

David was a shepherd boy who protected his family's sheep. He trusted God to help do this task. Even though David trusted God he still had to face trials. Enemies (wild animals) came after the very sheep he spent his time protecting, but God helped David kill the lions and bears that came after his sheep. Think about it... just a boy out in the fields looking at his sheep when a lion jumps out of the bush and attacks a lamb. Then that boy takes a club and goes after the lion and removes the lamb from the lions mouth. Then when the lion turns on him, he grabs it by the jaw and clubs the animal to death. Sounds kind of impossible... without God.

When David is trying to convince Saul that he is capable of going out to fight Goliath he tells Saul of the times he defeated these enemies (wild animals) with God's help. David didn't volunteer to fight Goliath because he wanted to show his brothers and the rest of the army what an amazing fighter he was. He didn't want to prove himself, he wanted to prove God! And when he goes out and stands before Goliath, David is proclaiming that God will prove Himself. See David has experienced God's protection and help. He knows that when he walks into a situation that looks impossible, God is going to be there. God had already proved Himself to David, now God was going to prove Himself again to the armies of Israel and the Philistines.

We all know the end of the story. David takes a smooth stone that he picked out of the river, placed it in his sling shot and knocked Goliath out. Then he took the same sword that Goliath was going to use to kill David and he cut Goliath's head off.

Right now I'm facing a situation that looks impossible, but it also looks familiar. I've seen God take this same situation I'm in right now and prove Himself and I am full of faith that He will do it again. He is faithful! Just like David had to step out and stand alone and only had God, so we have to take that same step. We can't just sit back with the rest of the army, shaking in our boots wondering what God is going to do... We have to step out, even if we don't look like the right candidate for the job, even if the odds are against us...

I found this really encouraging and I hope it encourages you as well!

Jonathan

One year ago today I was getting ready for church when I got a phone call from one of my friends saying that Jonathan's body had been found dead at his friend's house.

The purpose of this blog isn't to tell you all about Jonathan's life. He was a great guy and if you had the privilege of knowing him, you already know this about him. The purpose of this blog is to tell you the ugly truth.

I had so many mixed emotions about Jonathan's death. I was mad at Jonathan when he died. He had been acting really weird the last few weeks. He was supposed to play drums one Sunday when Jordan was leading worship and he never showed up. He wouldn't answer our calls or texts.. nothing. He had been showing up 45 minutes late to worship practice every Sunday, but to blow Jordan off like that was really low and I was not happy about it. He had pulled away from the people who were once his best friends and started hanging out with these other friends...

About a month before his death Jonathan, Brendan, Jordan, me and Jayden all went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory in Boulder. It's my last memory of Jonathan. There are a few things that I remember about that night. The first one is a question Jonathan asked me. He said, "Kortnie, why do girls always have to have a boyfriend to be happy?" And the second thing I remember is walking down the Pearl St. mall listening to the musicians and watching Jonathan give money to one of the performers.

It still hurts me to think that Jonathan died because of a drug overdose. In fact, I hated saying it when people asked me how he died. Why couldn't he have died in the car accident he was in the week before his death? I could have handled that, but to die because he was using drugs is so hard for me to wrap my head around.

Regardless of how Jonathan's life ended I still love him. I'll always treasure the memories we've made together. Here are a few I'd like to share with you. The photos aren't in any particular order.