4 Months Old

Levi will actually be 5 months old next week, but I waited to write this blog until after his 4 month check up.

Well his weight gain continues to be a slow process. I thought we were in the clear and then I took him back to the lactation consultant and he only gained 2 or 3 oz in 2 weeks. That was 6 days ago. When I took him to the doctor today he had gained another 4oz in 6 days. So I was super encouraged. I've been supplementing about twice a day to give him more calories and try to get his weight up. The dr and lactation have encouraged me to supplement after every feeding.

This has been a big month for Levs. He's cut his first two teeth (just like his siblings, right at 4 months), he's been rolling like crazy and he's tried rice cereal a couple of times.

 4 Month rocking chair photo

(I was super good about taking Gabriella's photo every month... 

and poor Levi I'm just now starting at 4 months!)

 check out the teefers! :)

 First time actually trying rice cereal 

(Jordan was helping our neighbor, so I took the picture and fed him at the same time.)

Obviously, he's not really a fan.. ha!

Second time around Jordan fed him and he still didn't like it!

The doctor suggested trying rice cereal to help give Levi more calories, but he's not a fan at all. So we're not pushing it. I'm not in a hurry to get him on solids anyways. 

My baby is not a newborn anymore. Makes me sad. I love that fresh out of the womb newborn baby stage, it doesn't last long enough. :( I'm not ready for him to grow up. I love every time he falls asleep while I'm holding him or nursing him, the sweet little coos and gummy smiles. 

Here Comes Winter!

Sunday night we watched the weather forecast and they said the HIGH for Monday would be 10 degrees... yes TEN DEGREES. That's freaking cold! :) So I decided to not take the kids to the library for their usual music and movement class and we stayed home in our warm jammies all day.. until about 4:30pm when Jordan came home and the kids were so stir crazy that I couldn't take it anymore and we all got dressed and went to Chick-Fil-A for dinner. (Side note: You may ask, "What does a vegetarian eat at Chick-Fil-A?" and I will tell you.... a milkshake and fries! haha no, not the healthiest meal... but oh well!)

 This is what subzero temperatures looks like. 

 The kids love the Christmas window decorations

By Wednesday it was much warmer out (in the 30's!). So I bundled up the older kids and took them outside to make a snowman. They loved it! We built his a body and then added twigs for his arms, rocks for his eyes and a carrot for his nose... he didn't have a mouth. :) The kids keep peeking out the window to make sure he hasn't melted.

My favorite part about being a mom is making memories with my kids. I'm learning that it's not about just putting an activity in front of them and saying, "Here, go play with this for awhile." But when I get down with them and play, they love it! Christmas time is so easy to make memories, but it's about making the opportunity to do it. 

Emotions Gone Haywire

Maybe it's postpartum, maybe its my birth control, maybe it's sleep deprivation, I don't know.. but I feel like my hormones are all out of balance. I'm a pretty emotional person as it is, so this is just over the top. I can pretty much cry over the smallest things or get angry over the smallest things. It's really annoying.

I'm beginning to realize that I need to make a choice about my emotions and how I allow them to control me. Parenting is hard enough as it is, but when emotions get in the way it makes it even harder. I want to be consistent in my parenting and disciplining, but it's very hard when I let my emotions take over.

I have to literally remind myself that I don't need to get emotional over something I watch on TV or when Jayden cries at preschool or because I didn't get to eat breakfast before church. Once I realize that I'm allowing my emotions to take over it's like I can see the situation clearly and gain my composure.

Another example is my relationship with my husband. Here is a situation from the other night: I was exhausted, I only had like 4 or 5 hours of sleep from the night before and it was late. We were watching Parenthood on Netflix and the episode ended. I wanted to go to bed, but Jordan insisted on watching one more episode. The kitchen still needed to be cleaned as well... So after watching about 3 minutes of the next episode I passed out on the couch. When it ended Jordan woke me up.. and I wasn't too happy about it. It was my fault that I didn't clean the kitchen and go to bed, I choose to sleep on the couch instead. Within the first 30 seconds of being awake I realized I could get really annoyed and angry about being so tired and just wanting to go to bed, or I could keep my mouth shut and do my chores.

I choose the ladder. It was hard. I just wanted to go off about how tired I was and how I didn't want to do the dishes and just be mean... but I didn't. And when I finally was in bed and ready to go to sleep I felt so much better about the situation.

Growing up I was always getting in trouble for my mouth... I had a bad problem of talking back and being ms. chatty cathy! My nick name at one point was motor mouth. But the Bible tells us that we need to control our tongue.

     "Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything." Proverbs 13:3

     "...be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry." James 1:19

Whether it's my children, my husband or some stranger on the street, I have to learn how to control my emotions and my tongue. I'm trying to set an example for my children to live by and I can't expect them to do as I say, not as I do. I have slip-ups and days where I allow my emotions to control me, but I'm trying to change that. I want to set the best example for my children that I can.

Sometimes You Have To Cheat..

So after another several days of pumping and supplementing with formula we went back to the lactation consultant's office to have Levi weighed. Good news, he gained 5oz in 5 days! That's a huge praise the Lord! The "cheating" part was that Levi had a poopy diaper when I was undressing him to weigh him... so she kept his diaper on and counted it towards his weight. If he would have pooped an hour after his appointment than he would have weighed more anyways... so whatever! ;) The LC said, "Sometimes you just have to cheat a little in life!" haha

On Thanksgiving I was really scared I would have to give up breastfeeding in order for Levi to gain weight and it honestly grieved my heart. I know it might sound silly to some people, but I'm really not ready to give it up. I'm so blessed with a wonderful friend who has gone through this exact same thing with one of her sons and she just sat and talked with me as I cried over the idea of weaning Levi at only 4 months.

It's funny to me how much my feelings toward breastfeeding have changed since Jayden was born. Jayden was 4 months old when I weaned him and it wasn't a big deal to me. I was ready to be done and it was just more convenient for all of us. Then Gabriella didn't give me an option so I stuck with it because I had to. And now with Levi I really want to breastfeed him for an entire year.

I've had to throw pretty much everything I know about babies and breastfeeding out the window. I'm not doing a schedule and I'm not deciding when he can or cannot eat. I'm going to let him eat whenever he seems hungry so that he gets milk whenever he wants. Also, the LC suggested "topping him off". So after I let Levi nurse until he's finished I'll give him 1oz of formula. Hopefully, this will help!

Back To Square One

After about a week and a half of trying to focus on Levi's feedings and making sure he was getting a full feeding, we went to the lactation specialist to have him weighed and see if we were progressing. Unfortunately, Levi is 2 ounces less than he was at his 2 month appointment. :(

So we're back to square one. I'm pumping every feeding until Friday when we'll go back to the LC office and have Levi weighed again. I'm also supplementing with formula when I don't pump enough milk. It's super frustrating. I just don't really understand why or how. I honestly don't feel like anything has changed, so why is this an issue?!

I really love working with the LC. She's very patient and understanding. Some things that she recommended were adding a lot of the "good fatty foods" to my diet. Examples: olive oil, oatmeal, greek yogurt, avocados, milk shakes, protein shakes, etc. I love all of those things, so that's not a problem... I'll take any excuse I can to eat more avocados! :)

After chatting with a friend of mine who loves talking about pregnancy and birth and breastfeeding she really encouraged me. She told me to pray over my breast, breast milk and Levi. And she encouraged me by reminding me that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. (I will praise Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." Psalm 139:14) I believe that God can cause my body to make the milk I need to feed my son and that my milk will be enough in volume and enough nutrients so Levi can gain weight.

It's challenging for me to have to try this hard to have good milk when I JUST went through a year of breastfeeding with no problems. I know every child is different, but it's just frustrating to have such success and then to struggle.

And can I just say, I really don't enjoy pumping... at all. And formula spit up is so gross! ha!

One more thing. I know that breast milk is the best thing for my baby. I truly believe that. But if my son isn't benefitting from it and he's not gaining weight, than I'm okay with giving him formula. I'd rather not starve my child.

Kids Book Shelves

A while ago I saw this post on pinterest for kids book shelves made from ikea spice racks. I've really been wanting book shelves where the books' covers are facing out so the kids can see them. I've found that when they're on a regular book shelf the kids pull off every single book looking for the one they want. Since they can't read and they don't know what the book is simply by looking at the binding they make a huge mess looking for the one they want.

Anyways, while shopping at IKEA a few weeks ago I showed Jordan the shelves and asked him what he thought about using them for book shelves. Of course his first response was, "I can build something better than that". Well that's great, but after I factor in the cost of materials + the time it would take him to build it + plus him ACTUALLY COMPLETING this project I really just wanted to buy the shelves that day. But I know Jordan really likes to take on these projects and they always come out great!

I was very surprised that it didn't take him very long to build them. It cost $13 and he was able to assemble them and hang them in only a couple hours. He also stained them to match their beds and dresser.

Check it out!

The kids love them! They are able to find the book they want and even better, they're able to put the books back by themselves!

A Day Of Firsts..

Today was a day of firsts in the Wertzbaugher family.

I noticed this morning that Levi is in fact getting his first tooth... It will probably be here right as he turns 4 months, just like his siblings. I can't believe it. He seems way too little to have his first tooth. I still feel I should be counting his age in weeks, not months. These kids just grow too fast.

Levi had another "first" today. He got his first hair cut. He had this awkward area of hair on the crown of his head that was like 2 inches longer than the rest of his hair and so Jordan and I cut it off tonight. The sentimental side of me wanted to wait until he had a lot more hair to cut so it would be a little more impressive for his baby book, but we still got a little patch of hair to go in a baggy. haha

And lastly, we had a very scary first. Jordan dropped me, Gabriella and Levi off at Target to start grocery shopping while he and Jayden went to Home Depot. We finished our grocery shopping and we were checking the baby clearance for pants for Gabri. I had just told her to get off the self where all the stroller boxes are, I looked back at the pants picked up her size and when I looked back for her.... she was gone. Every parents worst nightmare... I lost my daughter at Target. I figured she was on the other side of the display so I strolled the cart over and she wasn't there. I went in circles looking for her for about 3 minutes and then told an employee what happened. She sent out a "code yellow" with Gabriella's description. About 30 seconds later I found another employee looking for my daughter and over the walkie-talkie they announced that they had found her and she was with my husband.... I was so confused! It turns out Gabriella was in the dollar section and saw Jordan and Jayden walk by. She sweetly said, "Hi Daddy!". Jordan looked around and didn't see me so they started heading towards the women's clothing when the employee that I first talked to said, "Oh you found her!". Jordan didn't realize she was ever lost. Then I turned the corner and had to explain the whole thing to him.

Praise the Lord nothing happened to her. I was so frantic and just praying asking God to bring her to me. It was seriously one of the most scariest things I've ever experienced as a mother. Another lesson learned today: NEVER TAKE YOUR EYES OFF A 2 YEAR OLD!