White Chili Recipe

My sister gave me this recipe a long time ago and I never bothered to make it until yesterday. I bought a bag of dried navy beans at Walmart and decided to give it a try. I quick soaked the beans and then followed the recipe except I omitted the chicken. It was delicious and pretty easy, plus I loved making it in the slow cooker and smelling it for the 4 hours it took to cook! :)

3- 15oz cans of great northern’s bean drained OR 1 pound dried navy beans

8oz cooked and shredded chicken breasts

1 c chopped onions

1.5 c chopped yellow, green or red bell peppers

2 jalapeño peppers stemmed seeded and chopped (optional)

2 garlic cloves minced

2 tsp ground cumin

½ tsp salt

½ tsp dried oregano

3 ½ cups chicken broth

A dollop Sour cream

Cheddar cheese

Tortilla chips

Combine all ingredients except sour cream, cheese and chips in slow cooker. Cook on Low 8-10 hours or on high 4-5 hours.

Simplicity

Sometimes after being a Christian for almost 10 years I seem to make it more complex than it needs to be. The doctrinal differences and theology arguments start to cloud the true simplicity of the Gospel. I love ministering to children because in order to be effective you have to keep it simple.

Last night when I was reading my bible before I went to bed, I read Romans chapter 3. I was so moved by this chapter that it took me another 20 minutes to digest what I read. It's a chapter often used in evangelism because it takes people from sinners to saints in a matter of 31 verses.

>We're all sinners, we all fall short of God's glory. (verses 10, 23)

>We are made right with God through Jesus Christ and His sacrifice. (verses 22, 24-25)

See how simple it is???

Being a Christian is so simple. We just have to realize that we are sinners and because of that we don't meet God's standard. So we need something to bridge that gap. That's why Jesus came. That's why He shed His blood as a sacrifice that we could be made right with God.

It's Christmas time and we sing songs and celebrate the birth of Christ, but He didn't just come to find out what it felt like to be a human. He came with a purpose of bridging the gap between man-kind and God. So celebrate your freedom from sin! Don't just celebrate a fat guy in a red suit.

Isn't it a wonderful thing that all we have to do is say, "Yes, Jesus!"?

New Years Resolution=FAIL!!!

In a previous post I told you all about my 2 resolutions for the year 2010. While I have done a good job at one, I recently found out that I FAILED the other!

That's right... I'm pregnant! 2 days before Thanksgiving I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive. I'm due July 28th, which makes me 8 weeks along. It was a bit of a surprise to find out that we're expecting again, but a good surprise. I've always wanted a big family, at least 4 kids.. but now that I have 2 and I'm pregnant with my 3rd I'm wondering if 3 could be our magic number. :) We've talked about adopting, so I guess we'll see what the Lord has for us in the future.

For the past 2 weeks I've been struggling with fatigue and morning sickness, but thankfully everyday it gets easier.

We've decided to wait until the baby is born to find out what we're having. Everyone says it's the best surprise! Since we have everything we need for either a boy or a girl we're fully prepared. If I had to guess, I'd say I'm carrying a girl because the morning sickness has been nothing compared to when I was pregnant with Jayden... but maybe my body just handles morning sickness better with the more children I have?? haha! Who knows!

So the age gaps will be almost 3 years between Jayden and baby #3. And 21 months between Gabriella and baby #3. I'm hoping to get both the kids potty trained by the beginning of next Summer so I don't have 3 kids in diapers! Even if I can just get Jayden potty trained I'd be happy!

One more thing! We've applied for CHP+ which is an insurance company that is government funded for children newborn-18 years and pregnant women 19+. We meet the income requirements which means we'll be able to have this baby without having to pay a dime!!! All the prenatal care, labor and delivery and postpartum care is free!! It's a huge blessing!

One of those days...

This has been the longest day EVER!!!!!

I don't like Tuesdays to begin with because it's my long day. Jordan has been taking a class for the past 10 weeks every Tuesday night in Longmont so we only get about an hour together as a family.

I slept terrible last night... probably because of the 2 hour nap I took yesterday. Then Jayden came into our room at least 3 or 4 times before 6:30am. I finally crawled out of our bed and landed in his around 7:15 to allow Jordan more time to sleep.

We came downstairs after I showered and Jordan left for work and I got the whiney kids breakfast and milk. Gabri and Jayden both chugged their sippy cups dry. While Jayden finished his yogurt I took Gabriella upstairs to change her diaper and her clothes. When we got to the bottom of the stairs she puked all over the both of us. So I went back upstairs changed her clothes and my shirt, cleaned us both up and then went back down to get Jayden.

Probably an hour later I was upstairs changing Gabriella's diaper AGAIN and I was on the phone with my sister. I had just put socks on my cold feet and I started walking down the stairs holding Gabri in one arm and the phone in the other when I slipped and fell down the last 4 or 5 stairs. I managed to hold on to Gabri and my hip and hand caught us as we slid down. It was painful.

Gabri took her nap and Jayden and I just hung out and watch "Go, Diego, Go" since I wasn't feeling well, I wanted to just rest. Lunch time rolled around and after eating only his 4 slices of apples and maybe 2 or 3 bites of chicken noodle soup Jayden was throwing a tantrum. I took him upstairs to his room and within 15 minutes he was asleep (that was a bonus!).

Anyways, I won't continue to bore you with the details, but it's been rough around here. I feel like I've been the ugliest person to my kids, especially Jayden. I realized Jayden was just getting stir crazy and need to run around outside and play. He needed attention. One of the hardest things about being a parent to more than one child is learning how to balance their needs. It's not always easy and I fail a lot. Isn't it amazing how children learn from our bad behavior so much quicker than they learn from our good behavior?!

I'm so thankful that His mercies are new every morning and His grace is sufficient for me! I need God's help everyday. I lose my mind when I try to do everything on my own. God is the perfect Heavenly Father, He's the best parent there is, therefore He's the best example. I know that I'm far from perfect and I have a lot of learning to do as a parent, but I am so thankful I have the perfect example to follow!

Grandma Jean

A couple weeks ago my grandma had a stroke. As of right now she's in a rehab facility doing her therapy and trying to get better. It's not easy for a person her age, but she's a tough cookie. If you think of her, please, please, please pray for her healing!

During these last few weeks my mind has been flooded with memories of my grandma. I can't help but look back at the impact she has had on my life over the past 23 years. I think I have as many memories with my grandma as I do my mom and dad. My dad lived with her from the time I was 4 years old until I was 21. So as you can imagine I was able to spend a lot of time with her.

I love my grandma's history. She's lived through a lot and has a lot of wisdom to bestow. Grandma Jean was 1 out of 14 kids. She grew up on a farm in Nebraska. Every Summer my grandma would take her grandkids out to Nebraska for the annual family reunion. It was a huge deal. We had lots of cousins and aunts and uncles and it was so much fun getting to spend an entire weekend at the lake getting to know them. I've been so incredibly blessed to get to know my extended family and my family history. It's something most people don't get to experience first hand. It was one of my grandma's goals in life to make sure her grandchildren knew each other, I think she did a beautiful job of accomplishing that goal.

When I was in the 4th grade my grandma told me she was going to move 4 hours north to Casper, Wy. I remember sitting on my bed crying because I didn't want her to move. I was fortunate because it wasn't until 2 years ago that she actually did make the move. However, now that she's going through all of this it's hard to be away from her.

This was the day after I got engaged, Aug. 2006

The last time I saw my grandma, Aug. 2010

Thanksgiving Break

This week has been great! Jordan had the entire week off paid, because his work calendar follows the school district and he gets the same days off paid.. it's amazing! :)

Anyways, we've had a great time! The first weekend I had my mother in law perm my hair. My naturally curly hair suddenly went straight after all the hormones from 2 pregnancies, and I was really missing the easy hair style. So for $18 and a couple hours of my MIL's hard work I now have curly hair again!!! :)

We've also taken the kids to the library for story time; rotated days to sleep in; took LOTS of naps; baked cookies and breads; cooked lots of yummy food; celebrated Thanksgiving at church for the Something Pumpkin service and at my in laws for dinner; and then broke out the Christmas decorations! It's been so nice to just having Jordan home all day and night! I love it!

I'm not looking forward to Monday when Jord goes back to work, but it's only like 3 weeks until Christmas break and he gets 2.5 weeks off and we're going to TEXAS!!!!!!! I can't wait! It's going to be great!

Here are few pictures from Thanksgiving.

Amazing food,

Friends

Family,

Games,

And Naps!

A Dime A Dozen

I'm talking about "photographers"...

Have you noticed how many of your friends claim to be photographers?? Pretty much anyone with a digital SLR calls themselves a photographer now. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just making an observation.

I have a friend who is a photographer and he really likes polaroids and I honestly never understood why. Then it dawned on me the other day when I was looking at some photos he posted on his blog.... In order to take a good picture with a polaroid you have to be a talented photographer. You only get one shot. You don't get photoshop to fix your lighting, exposure, dodge and burn, crop, layer, etc. It's raw photography.

If we were to take out photoshop and digital cameras how many so-called photographers would still possess the ability to take a beautiful picture??

It's kind of like singers... Autotune and other studio magic tools are great, but what about when they're singing completely unplugged?? Are they still a great singer?

Think about the true ability Ansel Adams possessed as a photographer. I mean this guy was talented!!!

I took 2 semesters of photography in high school and I do own a digital SLR camera.. but I in no way shape or form consider myself a photographer.

Anyways, it's just a silly observation I made.. What are your thoughts?

Enjoy The Fruits Of You Labor!

Lately I keep having this reoccurring thought, "Why don't people do what they love and are passionate about doing?"

Maybe it's an easy question for me to ask because I'm a stay at home mom and I don't technically have a "job". I don't wake up every morning spend an hour and half getting ready to drop the kids off at daycare, hop on a bus and enjoy the 20 minute ride downtown, walk the 3 or 4 blocks to an office building, sit at my cubical, drink coffee with my co-workers and make "water cooler conversations" and of course working............. anymore.

While I was working in cooperate America I took a class about career moves. I found out I wasn't doing anything that I wanted to do. I wanted to be in ministry, working with children, living overseas!! The idea of spending 10+ hours away from my family everyday to sit in a dark room and file or stare at a computer for hours on end wasn't what I wanted be doing. I remember in that class one of my co-worker friends looked at my cards (that show you the things you're good at and interested in) and she said, "You should just quit and go work in an orphanage." to which I replied, "I would love that!"

Today during my quiet time with Jesus I was reading Ecclesiates 3, 4 & 5. I found some interesting scriptures, take a look:

3:9-13

^"9 What do people really get for all their hard work? ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. ¹¹ Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. ¹² So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. ¹³ And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God."

5:18-20

"¹⁸ Even so, I have noticed one thing, at least, that is good. It is good for people to eat, drink, and enjoy their work under the sun during the short life God has given them, and to accept their lot in life. ¹⁹ And it is a good thing to receive wealth from God and the good health to enjoy it. To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life—this is indeed a gift from God. ²⁰ People who do this rarely look with sorrow on the past, for God has given them reasons for joy."

It is a gift from God to truly enjoy your work! Some days I myself have a hard time enjoying my "work". I would rather go sit in a quiet cubical and file a million papers than listen to whiny children who don't want to use a fork to eat their food and would rather just drink milk for lunch. But those days are nothing compared to the ones where I spend hours playing with my children, reading them books, teaching them songs, taking them to the library and doing projects.

I am blessed to be able to stay home with my kids and I don't always appreciate that blessing. Staying home is a sacrifice. It's not always easy. I would love to work and have enough money to not live paycheck to paycheck and to go shopping and buy things I want! But I remember that the things they learn in the first five years will shape who they become as adults. So while my job might seem "small" in the day to day, it will greatly impact their future.

I want to remember to truly ENJOY the cards that I have been dealt!

Parental Judgement

I know everyone is guilty of being in a store/an airplane/a bus/a park and you see a child throwing a fit, being obnoxious, being disobedient and you think (or say out loud..) "My child will NEVER behave like that......."

I am guilty of this on more than one occasion. I have thought it and said it countless times. I don't know what it is that makes me think that I can do a better job at parenting these children, than their own parents. It's terrible, really. I can remember walking around Target with Jayden when he was a newborn and I heard another child crying and I whispered to Jayden, "You'll never be a naughty boy like that, will you!" hahahah if I only knew! :)

The older my children (and I) get the more I realize I don't know everything there is about raising a child. Most of the time as soon as I think I've figured it out my children prove me wrong!

Let's just be honest, when my children are being disobedient or throwing fits or just running around screaming/laughing, it's a little embarrassing. Why? Because of my pride, fear of people... or because it's completely unacceptable?? I don't know, but is embarrassing.

I want my children to always listen and be obedient the second I tell them to do something. I want them to be a robot.. but they're not. They are a small person in the human race and they are made exactly like me, with a free will. It was a disturbing moment when I realize this. Free will shouldn't be an option until they're at least 18.. I mean really. Ha!

So where is my compassion, where is my love for my kind?? These mothers who are having "one of those moments" and desperately wish that their children would behave themselves. It is one of my goals to just smile and nod with a "I completely understand how you feel right now" look on my face.

Nap Time Battles

Jayden has always been my good sleeper. He started sleeping through the night at 5 weeks old!! He never threw a fit when it was time for his nap, he always laid down and went right to sleep.... until he was about 14 months old.

He learned that he could protest his naps and not have to sleep... (unfortunately there is no way to FORCE your child to sleep).. At this point in time Jayden wasn't able to climb out of his crib and I was very thankful for that. However, he would still jump around and not sleep. Most days he would eventually give in and go to sleep.

A few months ago Jayden discovered he could climb out of his crib. I was in the shower one Sunday morning and Jordan was still in bed (trying to get 5 more minutes of sleep), when I heard fast, little footsteps quickly approaching the bathroom door. The next thing I heard was the bathroom door open and "BOO!" I wrapped my towel around me and walked out of the bathroom and saw Jordan still sound asleep in our bed. After asking his several times if he was the one who got Jayden out of bed and Jordan saying, "no." I couldn't believe it! Our son could now escape his cage, uh I mean crib! :)

He didn't show off his new trick everyday.. in fact it wasn't very often he used it to his advantage... but when he realized it was a great way to avoid taking a nap, I started losing my mind!

I have found him squirting lotion all over his body, floor, blankets... I've found him pulling his baby wipes out one by one making huge piles all over his room... I once found him in our bedroom pulling all the nozzles off my perfume bottles!

And then the most recent finding- he learned to climb up onto his changing table and get the baby powder. Jayden LOVES baby powder, every time he gets his diaper changed he requests baby powder on his hiney. On this particular day I had forgotten to take the baby powder, lotion and wipes out of his room because I needed to make a very important phone call. While I was on the phone I noticed Jayden was being VERY quiet and I remembered I had left the wipes in his room. As soon as my 15 minute phone call was over I ran upstairs and all I could smell was baby powder!!!! I flung open Jayden's door to find a fog of powder... after the fog cleared I could see the all the damage he had done in those 15 minutes. Everything in his room was dusted with baby powder. It was almost impossible to breathe! I knew I would one day appreciate this memory in photo form so I ran down stairs, grabbed the camera and the phone and called Jordan. While I was on the phone with him I was snapping pictures of our son covered from head to toe in baby powder.

It took forever to clean up this mess. I used the shop vac so I wouldn't ruin our house vacuum and the stupid thing kept shocking me because of all the powder and static in his changing pad cover. It took like 7 hours to air out his room so you could actually breathe and of course I threw everything in the wash because there was no other way to get it clean.

Instead of nap time we have "quiet time". Jayden is allowed to play with a quiet toy (magna doodle drawing thing) and read books or look at a picture book my mom made for him. Since implementing quiet time I've found Jayden sleeping 3 or 4 times!

It's a rough transition for all of us right now because Jayden gets really grouchy the closer bed time gets, but I'm still happy with having an hour of alone time to get my stuff done!

Gabriella's 1st Birthday

That's right! My daughter is officially a 1 year old!

Gabri is such a quiet laid back little girl. She's content just being held and carried around. She also enjoys trying to keep up with her busy brother.

I found out I was pregnant with Gabriella when Jayden was 5 months old. My pregnancy with her was so easy. I had morning sickness for about 2 weeks, which was nothing compared to the 2 long months when I was pregnant with Jayden. I craved fruit with Gabriella and only gained 30 pounds, compared to the 50 pounds I gained with Jayden. My pregnancy went by so fast with Gabriella, I remember at the end of it I told Jordan, if something happened and I wasn't able to get pregnant again, I would be so sad because I didn't take the chance to completely enjoy being pregnant with Gabri. In fact, I forgot I was pregnant on multiple occasions. I think chasing around a little toddler all day long had a lot to do with that.

Even my labor and delivery with Gabri was super easy. I was induced 1 week before my due date to prevent having a large baby (Jayden was 9lbs 8oz). We went in to the hospital at 8am and they started pitocin, at 11:45 I got an epidural (I wasn't in pain, but they were about to break my water and I didn't really care to experience hard contractions so I got the epidural early) at noon they broke my water, by 4pm I was fully dilated and I started pushing around 5:10 and she was born at 5:28pm. Gabriella Jael weighed 8lbs 7oz.... Gabri was still considered a large baby because she was born 1 week early.

While I was pregnant with Gabri I felt like she would grow up to be a preacher of the Gospel. It was the same feeling I got when I was pregnant with Jayden that he would be a worship leader. Gabriella means, "The Lord's messenger" and I think she will grow into the meaning of her name beautifully.

The week before she was born I was sitting in our living room playing with Jayden when I started to cry as I realized I would bring another child into this world and honestly, I didn't know if I would be able to truly love her like I love Jayden. There is such a special bond between a mother and her first born. The miracle of being a mother is that God expands our heart and we possess a deep love for our children.. no matter how many we have, 2 or 19. :)

24 hours after Gabri was born the nurse noticed a redness around her umbilical cord. The doctor was notified and before I knew it I had 2 NICU nurses sitting in my hospital room telling me that Gabriella would have to stay in the NICU on antibiotics for 72 hours to keep the infection from spreading into her blood system. I cried as I sat in the rocking chair holding her because I was so confused... I had already been discharged because I was anxious to get home to Jayden who I hadn't seen in over 36 hours, they offered to let me stay in my hospital room but Gabriella would have to stay in the NICU. I could only have 4 visitors, excluding Jordan. I wouldn't be able to see Jayden for another 3 days...

I left the hospital that night without my newborn in my arms. I cried uncontrollably all the way home. All I could think about was how I was failing at least one of my children. Gabri was only 24 hours old and I was already leaving her alone in a hospital over 20 miles from our house. Jayden was super sick with a sinus infection and he was getting his molars. Both my babies needed me but I couldn't be in 2 places at once.

Thankfully, the infection didn't spread to her blood stream and we were able to bring her home Monday morning. (She was born Thursday evening). Of course, I cried uncontrollably the first day she was home. Every time I saw both of my children together my heart would just overflow and I would cry... haha!!

One year later we celebrated this beautiful little girl. We had our families over for presents, chili and cake! My dad's birthday is 3 days after Gabri's so we celebrated his 57th birthday as well! It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed being able to spend this special day with the ones we love. I baked strawberry cupcakes with strawberry frosting (recipe by Sprinkles) for Gabriella and a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting for my dad. I also made orange muffins and vegetarian chili. It was all very delicious!

Dad, Gabri and Mom :)

My handsome dad

I made Gabriella's tutu for her birthday

She got 7 baby dolls and LOTS of cute outfits!

New Year's Resolution... update

At the beginning of 2010 I made a couple resolutions...

1.) Not get pregnant
2.) Learn to cook

Those are the two that I actually remember. These were the 2 that I really took to heart and have tried to keep.

You might think the first one is kind of silly... or even a joke.. but it's not! It's a very serious thing! :) I realized the other day that this is the longest I have ever gone not pregnant since Jordan and I got married!!! I'm not gonna lie- I'm very happy that it's been almost a full year of having my body at a normal size! Now as soon as Gabriella is done nursing I will be completely free!!!

Now the second thing is also very serious! I've always wanted to be a good cook. My biggest challenge is being willing to try new things. I hate when you want to try a meal and you go out and buy all the food for it and it doesn't turn out right... or maybe you burn it and end up throwing it away. It's never a good feeling when you fail at something. Luckily for me, I was blessed with a husband (and kids) who don't mind eating food that is less than desirable.

My first few times ever cooking chicken I made Jordan completely sick!!! I made chicken enchiladas and didn't realize that you're supposed to COOK the chicken before you roll it up in the tortilla and put it in the oven.... yeah, not good! The next time I cooked it on a skillet and I'm pretty sure I didn't cook it very long because I thought it would finish cooking in the oven. By the third time Jordan asked me not to make him chicken enchiladas anymore. While we were in Guatemala I learned that browning beef is very easy and I am capable of doing it. I also learned boiling chicken is pretty easy as well!!! So if there is one thing I should probably work on, it's cooking meat.

I have a terrible habit of getting into a rut of always making the same thing, week after week after week. I have a hard time being creative and breaking out of the "norm". We eat a lot of pasta.. spaghetti, alfredo, and vodka sauce. Other stuff we eat/ate a lot is lasagna and shepherd's pie. Yep... pretty boring.

So this year, I broke out of that rut. Some of things I made were; taco soup, actual tacos, hamburgers, manicotti, chile rellenos, rice and peas, Mexican chicken casserole, cornbread corn casserole, chicken and rice casserole, homemade mac and cheese, stir fry, black bean soup, vegetarian chili and pot roast! Some of these turned out better than others and some I've only made once or twice. I'm pretty proud of myself for trying new things and experimenting and learning.

One website that I used A LOT is allrecipes.com

I've found that I really enjoy baking. Cookies are probably my favorite, as well as Jayden's! I've been a vegetarian for 12 years and there's one thing that has been consistent my whole life.. I love sweets!!! We eat dessert probably 6 out 7 times a week. Since I don't want to sit around and become a cow, I pass my "goodies" on to my great neighbors.

So what are some of your favorite recipes?? Please, pass them along!!!! The year is NOT over yet and I since the holidays are coming up I'm going to need some delicious dishes to share with family and friends!

Black Bean Soup

I've been wanting to use a bag of dry black beans that have been sitting in my pantry for a couple weeks and thought black bean soup would be a perfect solution with the cool fall weather we've been having. So I wanted to share the recipe with all of you! This was my first time make black bean soup and it turned out really well. Great flavor!

1 pound dried black beans
6 cups chicken broth
4 cups water
1-1/2 cups chopped onions
1 cup thinly sliced celery
1 large carrot, chopped
1/2 cup each chopped green, sweet red and yellow peppers (I didn't have peppers so I left them out of my soup)
2 garlic cloves, minced
3 tablespoons olive oil
1/4 cup tomato paste
3 tablespoons minced fresh parsley
3 bay leaves
1 tablespoon minced fresh thyme or 1 teaspoon dried thyme
1-1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon peper
3/4 teaspoon salt, optional
chopped tomato, optional

1) Place beans in a Dutch over or soup kettle; add water to cover by 2 in. Bring to a boil; boil for 2 minutes. Remove from the heat; cover and let stand for 1-4 hours or until beans are softened. Drain and rinse beans, discarding liquid.
2) Return beans to pan; add broth and water. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 1 hour or until beans are almost tender.
3 Meanwhile, in a large skillet, saute the onions, celery, carrot, peppers and garlic in oil until tender. Add the tomato paste, herbs and seasonings to the bean mixture. Add the sauteed vegetables; bring to a boil.
4) Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 1 hour or until beans are tender. Discard bay leaves. Garnish with chopped tomato if desired.

Yield: 12 servings (3 quarts)
Nutrition Facts: 1 cup equals 191 calories, 4 g fat (1 g saturated fat) 0 colestrol, 484 mg sodium 30 g carbohydrate, 7 g fiber, 10 g protein.

Lacrae

Jordan found this rapper awhile ago named Lacrae. The first time we ever listened to his CD we were both sitting in the car almost in tears at the lyrics to his songs. I should first tell you all, I am not a huge rap fan... but this guy has an incredible story and powerful lyrics!

Jord recently downloaded Lacrae's newest CD "Rehab". It is loaded with great music, I highly recommend it! My favorite song is #12 God is Enough.

Just in case you're wondering where this guy came from, here is his story:

This post might seem kind of funny coming from a white girl from the suburbs, but after doing ministry with Metro Ministries in the inner-city of Dallas I really got a heart for kids growing up in the projects. Lacrae not only gave his life to the Lord, but is truly making a difference with his music.

One step closer to being debt free!

Over 3 years ago when Jordan and I got married we entered our marriage in debt. Don't get me wrong, the only debt we had was a Kay's credit card we used to buy our wedding rings with. We paid off that credit card within the first 6 months that we were married, we paid our schooling as we went, we owned our cars outright, we didn't have a mortgage, we didn't have hospital bills, etc. We were doing pretty well financially.

The first couple months that we were married we didn't have couches and we couldn't get a credit card to buy them because we had no credit! There have been plenty of times that I wished we had a credit card so we could buy what we want or need. Instead we did things the old fashioned way - saved up and payed cash.

3 years late I'm proud to announce we still have no credit cards, however we do have debt. When I had Jayden we paid off our medical bill throughout my pregnancy and then after he was born we still had about $1,200 of debt which we paid off with my bonus from work. Unfortunately, we didn't have the same health insurance when I had Gabriella. We met our deductible of $4,000 when I had Gabri at the end of 2009, then 3 months later (January 2010) we met our deductible again when I was in the hospital for a kidney stone. Within 3 months we racked up $6,000 of medical debt.

My sister told me about this program called Colorado Indigent Care Program (CICP) for low income families that helps pay off medical debt. I called the hospital that I was admitted to for my kidney stone and found out they use CICP and I was accepted. My bill went from $3,600 to $220!!! I can't express to you what a relief it was to pay off that debt. Unfortunately, we still had $2,100 of debt at the hospital where I had Gabri. I tried contacting the financial aid office, but no one ever called me back. I was told this hospital didn't accept CICP so I wanted to see if they offered another program.

Yesterday while the kids were napping I was watching TV when the phone rang, I let it got to the answering machine. The message started, "Hello my name is so-and-so and I am calling from a collection agency for Kortnie Wertzbaugher"... not exactly what I was expecting to hear! The idea of having a collection agency calling me doesn't settle well in my stomach! I quickly answered the phone and began speaking with a really nice lady. I explained to her that I had tried contacting the financial aid office and no one ever called me back and some how I mentioned that we have CICP. She put me on hold and when she came back she told me that I need to fax my CICP card to them and they will come up with our new amount that we'll owe the hospital! I told the lady that I was informed that hospital didn't accept CICP so she put me on hold again to double check, when she came back she said for sure they do! Now we'll be able to pay off our debt and be completely debt free (except for out home mortgage!)!!!

I love how God works out these details!! This is such a huge weight lifted off our shoulders! I'm very thankful for programs like this that help people get out of debt!

Tactics

One of the tactics the devil uses on us is isolation. I hate to admit it, but I fall for it more than I should.

Heres how I fell for this dumb tactic recently: We're out to dinner with Jordan's co-workers and we have both the kids. No one else has kids as young as ours, in fact the next oldest kid at the table is at least 12 years old. Jayden isn't in the mood to sit down and just color, it was cool for about 2 minutes and then he was over it. I brought toys as a back up, but of course he doesn't want to play with the toys, he'd rather run laps around the restaurant and dance to the music. Now he's screaming as we try to make him sit in the high chair and eat his dinner. Gabriella is screaming because she just wants to nurse... which isn't happening in the middle of a restaurant. After wanting to pull all my hair out we finish dinner and drive home. The WHOLE way home all I can think about it is what terrible parents we must be if we can't even control our children and sit down and eat dinner. I beat myself up pretty bad that night and into the next day.

Then at church I consult a few moms with children the same age as mine and come to find out.... I'm not alone!!!! Other moms struggle with these same problems! The more I talked with these moms the more I felt normal again and less like a terrible mother.

We can walk right into the devil's tactic and not even realize it. I'm so thankful for the body of Christ that encourages and strengths me when I need it the most!

Stop your cryin'!!!

I have this totally great friend who tends to be super honest and blunt..and her name is Lauren! :)

The thing I love about friendship is that people can see areas of your life that your family doesn't always see. And if you allow them to, these friends can show you those areas that might need a bit of improvement.

One area I can improve in is complaining and making excuses. When I was in middle school my school counselor called me the Queen of Excuses. It's true... I tend to justify everything with an excuse. BUT I'm working on it.. only 10 years later! :)

The other day I was about to write a Facebook status complaining about how I need a break from baby-world.. also known as my children. I started thinking about my status and then went back and deleted it. I have NO reason to complain about not having alone time with my husband. We have so many people who are always willing to watch our kids for free.

So I decided, this is not who I want to be.. I don't want to be that person that is complaining about something but isn't willing to do anything about it. It's probably one of the most annoying things in the world... I mean really. People get tired of hearing the same complaints, the same excuses from people who won't do anything to change their situation... I say this because I have honest friends who tell me what they REALLY think.. haha!

Anyways, my in-laws watched the kids on Sunday night and Jordan and I went out. We didn't do much, but the point is that we didn't do much together.. alone.. without the kids! Then I went over to his parent's neighbor's house and I visited a high school friend of mine. I got to spend the whole evening doing what I wanted without having to be "Mommy". It was great and rejuvenating!

I really want to apply this "Stop complaining and do something about it" thing to every area of my life.

Midnight with Jesus

Lately in my quiet time I've been reading the book of John (from the Bible). The other night at 1am as I was training Gabriella to learn how to comfort herself and go back to sleep, I sat outside her bedroom reading the Bible on my phone. It took her 45 minutes to fall asleep so I decided to be polite and not keep waking Jordan up by getting in and out bed-it also gave me a chance to spend some alone time with Jesus.

Anyways, I was reading John chapter 8 about the woman who was caught in adultery. Could you imagine how humiliated you would be in you were caught in your darkest sin and dragged out in front of all your town by the religious leaders saying you should be killed for you sin? This woman was probably sobbing, thinking her life was about to end when Jesus stepped in. The Bible says that Jesus bent down and started writing words in the dirt.. I really want to know what it was he was writing. I've heard people say they think it was the sins of the religious leaders who were condemning the woman. Anyways, Jesus says, "Let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone." Then all these religious people start leaving one by one, starting with the oldest. I wonder what the significance of that is?? Then Jesus tells her “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

POWERFUL stuff!!!

It gives me chills every time I read it! Jesus is so full of love and compassion for the lost. I wish there was another chapter on this woman's life and how Jesus turned it upside down!

I was not an adulterer when I met Jesus for the first time. I was just a 14 year old girl who knew I wanted more out of life than failing every class in school, broken relationships with family members and friends, no goals for my life, etc.

My mom cleaned out my bedroom at her house and we found my high school transcript. It's amazing to actually see exactly when I started caring about my life... 9th grade all my grades were D's and F's... 10th, 11th and 12th grade- A's and B's. My relationship with my dad was restored and I actually enjoyed spending time with him and wanted to see him. One year after I met Jesus I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life living for Him and telling the people of the world about His Love!

My story might not be as dramatic as the woman in John 8, but it was enough to shake my life and turn it upside down. I hope one day I can touch people with my story.

Negative Nancy..

Do you ever have those moments when you realize you've been super negative about everything?? Well, I'm having one of those moments. It's also one of those "Negative Nancy" kind of things... actually a friend of mine from high school used to call me "Negative Neifert" (Neifert is my maiden name). Probably one of the worst nicknames I've ever been given.

I've been complaining today because Jordan has to take a class for his work and it'll be in the same town that he works in, which is 30 miles away from our house. The class goes from 6:30-9pm every Tuesday night. It just stinks all around. The place is inconvenient, the time is inconvenient, the fact it's 12 weeks long is inconvenient, etc... As I sat around feeling sorry for myself and the fact that he'll be gone yet ANOTHER night of the week I remembered two friends of mine. Both of these ladies are pregnant and married to military men... and both of their husbands are deployed and will be missing the birth of their children. How can I sit here and feel sorry for myself when they won't even be able to see their children be born?!

Then a friend of mine posted a FB status about her husband having to work late again tonight. She really encouraged me when she said, "I know when I complain it makes him feel bad! I know he doesn't want to be away from us, so I try hard to be understanding." I have failed miserably when it comes to complaining to Jordan about his responsibilities outside our family. I know my husband is a homebody, he LOVES being home with our family and playing with our kids and spending time with me. So WHY do I make him feel bad about having to be away from us, when there is nothing he can do about it?!

During these next 12 weeks I'm going to try and have a positive attitude about the whole situation and not complain. Anyone have a word of encouragement or advice to get me through?? :)

-K.

Mr. Jayden "Bubba"

My first born turned two years old on Saturday... it's unbelievable! When we first brought Jayden home from the hospital I cried for the first 3 days straight. I never realized how selfish I was until I had to share every area of my life with this new little baby who needed me to do everything for him. It didn't take long for me to adjust to my new role. I thought I knew everything about parenting until Jayden turned one.

Everything changes the day your baby has their first birthday. No more bottles, no more formula, no more baby food, no more pacifiers, etc. It's a big deal. My whole world fell apart.... okay maybe it wasn't that bad, but it did change a lot. But of course, I adjusted to that as well.

Then I gave birth to Gabriella and Jayden became a big brother at 14 months old. He is such a great big brother. It didn't happen the moment I brought her home from the hospital, but he has become a very sweet big brother .

Now as we enter the "terrific two's" my parenting skills are being put to the test again. I spend the majority of my days teaching Jayden how to share, not to throw tantrums, be obedient, use manners, eat nicely, clean up after yourself, help with chores, no hitting or throwing, etc. It's a lot of work right now, but I know it will be worth very soon!

Jayden can now count from 1-10 in English and Spanish, draw circles, say 2-3 word sentences, help me unload the dishwasher, put his dirty dishes in the sink, help me do laundry, clean up his toys, eat his meals without assistance, drink from a regular cup, etc. I'm so proud of him. today we were eating lunch and he said, "My heumse (I have no clue what that word was) toe hurts." A COMPLETE SENTENCE!! I had to call Jordan when Jayden repeated the sentence! I couldn't believe it!

There are plenty of days when I want to pull my hair out and cry because I'm so overwhelmed and I feel like I'm failing as a parent. But then there are other days where I sit down and Jayden cuddles up on my lap and kiss my arm as we read a book together and it it makes everything worth it.

I believe Jayden is called to be a worshipper of God. (Yes, all of us are called to this, but I believe he is anointed to do it!) Before Jayden was born I knew he was going to be gifted in music. He's had a love for music since he was 6 months old. As Jayden gets older we are able to see his talents come out. He loves playing the drums, just like his daddy, he can beat box (which I'm not sure if that's normal for a 2 year old..), he loves to dance and sing, for his birthday my mom brought him a ukulele from Hawaii and he just sits down and strums on that thing forever!

His birthday party was a lot of fun. We had it at our house and we had 43 people!! It was slightly chaotic, but fun! We set up a canopy in the backyard and some tables and chairs. I made lots of sugar cookies for the kids to decorate. I baked a carrot cake with yellow cream cheese frosting. I also baked two round chocolate cakes which Jordan stacked on top of each other and covered them with a blue buttercream frosting. Jayden was so blessed! He got lots of cute new clothes, puzzles, a guitar, sand for the sand box and lots of sand toys, golf clubs, hot wheels, his first remote control car, books, etc. Since we had church the next day and then my Uncle's annual BBQ Jayden didn't get to play with his toys until Monday morning. So we've spent all day playing with toys!!

My favorite thing about Jayden's party was being surprised by our best friend Brendan and his new wife and my Grandma! Growing up I saw my grandma almost everyday and 2 years ago she moved to Wyoming, so I don't get to see her nearly as much as I'd like. Brendan moved to California earlier this year and completely surprised us by just showing up at our house Saturday with his beautiful new wife, Brenda! I could have cried I was so happy!

My Grandma Jean

Opening presents

Decorating cookies

Playing with the new sand toys

My uncle Mike, My oldest brother and My dad

Nerd Alert!!!!!!

In my previous blog I wrote about Her Mother's Hope. I just finished it this morning! It didn't have the ending I was expecting, but it still leaves me anxious to get my hands on the sequel.. which doesn't come out until September, but I am second on the list at the library to get it! :)

This Summer I ventured over to the library in our town for the first time to take the kids to Story Time. I really enjoyed getting out of the house and doing something fun with them that's focused for their age. The library is really fun for kids. They have an entire area dedicated to them with toys, movies, books and games. Our library isn't super big, but it's new! I honestly haven't been in a library in a very long time... besides the CFNI library, which I only went a couple times and it wasn't to read books (it was for other school projects which we ended up going to Panera Bread to finish).

Anyways, I think the library is probably one of the greatest places. A. It's free. Except for late fees, you don't have to pay for anything! You can check out DVDs, audio books, regular books, etc. and you don't have to pay a dime. It doesn't cost anything to get a library card, it's all free! (even story times). B. You get DVDs for a week and books for 3 weeks. The library isn't Blockbuster, but they have a wide variety of movies. Even though our library is small, if they don't have the book you want, they borrow it from another library.

I really appreciate the library and the fact that it has so much to offer. I will be taking full advantage of it from now on. :)

What are some of your favorite books??? I may add them to my reading list...

Quiet Time

I haven't blogged lately because every free minute I get I've been reading Her Mother's Hope by Francine Rivers. I became a fan of Mrs. Rivers earlier this year when I read Redeeming Love and then I was hooked when I read the Mark Of The Lion series. I've been wanting to read some of her other stuff so I started this new book two weeks ago. I should have finished it within days, but I'm finding it hard to find time where I don't feel guilty to just sit down and read a good book.

Lately, I feel like I'm a little run down and emotionally drained. Juggling two kids all day is a lot, then adding in a husband and house... by 8:30pm I'm pooped! I normally fall asleep on the couch while Jordan watches TV. I've learned that this comes from not spending enough time with Jesus. So just sitting down and reading the Bible and spending some quiet time in prayer seems to do the trick every time. I think the other thing that I really need is a good long date with my husband, out of baby world.

As a wife and a mother it seems I'm always being pulled in a different direction and everyone needs a little alone time with mama, but mama needs a little alone time too. Even if it's just going to the library to drop off a borrowed book or Dora The Explorer DVD, those 10 or 15 minutes of quiet drive time, make coming back to chaos a little easier.

Okay back to Her Mother's Hope... This book is very different from the other books I've read by Francine Rivers. This one is based off her mom and grandma's relationship. I think she's such a great author and truly has a gift. I can't imagine being able to write in such a way that people feel like they actually know these characters and they can laugh and cry with them throughout the book. It really takes a gifted person to do that.

Well now that the kids are down for their naps, I should go have some quiet time with Jesus...

things are a changin'

So my best friend Lauren is moving to Oregon and yesterday was her last day at church. Before I had even left my house I was sitting in bed feeding Gabriella when I realized that we are changing seasons. Obviously for Lauren she's moving to another State and a lot of stuff is changing for her. But for me and my family I feel the same thing. We're not moving or anything, but I still feel like there is a change happening.

Since my blog a while back about making new friends, the Lord has brought so many new people into my life. I'm really excited about the friendships that are being formed because I believe I could learn a lot from these ladies.

I also feel a change that isn't exactly what one might think of when they think of change. I finally feel like our house is our home. On August 26th it will be one year since we closed on our house and September 6th will be one year that we moved in. A few weeks ago I was walking around upstairs and I had this thought/feeling that we were finally settled in our home. It's a nice feeling.

I've been a stay at home mom now for 8 months and I really feel like I'm settling into that title. I have come to the place of feeling happy about what I do and how I do it. I enjoy being home, regardless if we have a car or not. I've been working with Jayden on his colors, numbers, alphabet, words, obedience, etc. and I love having the time and ability to do that! I love being able to watch Gabriella grow before my eyes everyday, she's constantly learning something new.

I also feel like this is the first time in my marriage that there hasn't been a big event about to happen.. like moving to another State, new jobs, a baby, a house, another baby, etc.

I'm trusting that God has something great in store for us, but I'm looking forward to just being home and enjoying the time with my family.

Learning and growing

This has been an exciting weekend for everyone in the Wertzbaugher house.

Thursday evening while Jordan was at band practice I saw a picture of a dog on FB that my friend's friend was trying to find a home for. I've been wanting a dog for a really long time, pretty much since Jordan and I got married, but it never works out. So as soon as Jordan got home I begged him and showed him cute pictures of the dog and we called the owner and agreed to meet him the next day. We went out and bought a bone, collar, leash, etc. and went to meet Tulo. He is a very sweet dog. He's 2 years old, a lab/pit mix, potty trained, house trained and knows commands. In theory he would have been perfect for us.

We brought him home and the kids just went crazy, they were laughing and chasing him. Tulo kept pacing back and forth through the house for about 3 hours until he completely wore himself out. When it came time for everyone to go to bed the only place he wanted to sleep was right on our bed! Well, that wasn't going to fly. So all night long we kept having to encourage Tulo to lay down in HIS bed. But he kept going into the kid's rooms and waking them up. So finally we put him outside in our backyard because we couldn't take him crying anymore.

At 7:30am I went outback to check on him and he had climbed under a broken fence post and was on the opposite side of the gate! Luckily, I found him when I did because a few minutes later a woman running with her boxer ran right in front of our house! Jordan's family came over and helped him repair the fence and brought over a crate. We had to run some errands and didn't want Tulo roaming through the house alone, so we locked him in the crate inside the house and left. When we returned 2 hours later he had broken out of his crate and was barking at us when we walked in. It was late, so we made dinner and then took the kids up to bathe them. Tulo sat by the door and cried the whole time we were upstairs even though he could have followed us. It was at that point we realized we had made a mistake. We were no where near ready for a dog. So we called the previous owner and returned Tulo. I know, anyone with half a heart would say we're the worst people in the world... but at the end of the day, it's our family and we weren't ready and I don't think Tulo was the right fit. He needs an owner who has the time and patience to spend with him.

Tulo taking a nap

Luckily, I called a friend who called her friend who called her friend, and I think we may have found Tulo a new home!!! Praise the Lord!! So I learned a very valuable lesson, don't get a dog unless you're ready!! If you're unsure, borrow one from a friend for a day or so, before committing to adopt one.

This weekend was very eventful for Gabriella as well! Friday night when we brought Tulo home she learned how to crawl, go from the crawling position to the sitting up position and she pulled herself up to her feet all by herself (while holding on to the couch)! I am so proud of her! Now the real fun begins, not only chasing a toddler, but a baby!

Jayden is learning so much right now! I love watching him and listening to him. He's been learning Spanish, either from Dora the Explorer or our next door neighbor.. I'm not sure, probably both! He can count better in Spanish than he can in English. He's learning how to use his imagination and make sound effects.

Jayden and Lizette spending a Summer afternoon together.

Yesterday was my mom's 50th birthday party. We had it at my aunt and uncle's house which was so fun. They have a pool, a trampoline, a hot tub, 3 dogs, a large deck, etc. All my siblings were there and 6 out of 7 of my mom's grandkids were there. This is a big month for my mom, she turned 50 and is getting married in just a couple of days.

Anyways, I'm taking today to recuperate from the weekend... I have so much laundry and cleaning to catch up on!