Proverbs 18:24
"A man that hath friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."
This is in no way a pitty party for myself... I just want to be real.. (this is Jordan's most hated phrase used by preachers, "Can we just be real??")
Anyways, I feel like I've had a really hard time making female friends since I was in middle school. In high school my best friends were guys. There was a group of about 7 of us and I was the only girl. I just really wanted a girl best friend who loved the Lord who was my age. Well I came across a few amazing girls who became my closest friends.. the only problem was an age gap of 9 years in one direction and 5 in the other.
When I left for college I was so excited because I knew that I was bound to make a few great friends who were Christians and my age! I loved it.. for the first time I had more female friends than I did male friends and it was so much fun staying up with these girls and talking about hair and make up and fashion and Jesus!!!! The night before graduation I came home to one of my roommates (who I lived with for 3 of the 4 semesters and a summer semester) crying. She was feeling the same way I was about all of us leaving and going off. I was getting married in two weeks, she was about to go to Central America for a couple of months and the other girls were either going on to finish school or moving back home or getting married. I wasn't ready for the few close friends I made to all go off in different directions!
When Jordan and I got married we were really good friends with another young couple, Landon and Kristin. Landon was our pastor's son. The 4 of us actually "lived" together for awhile. Landon and Kristin were renting a house in Rockwall and when Jordan and I were in transition from graduating the 3rd year program and going to Guatemala they graciously let us stay with them for a few weeks. We also used to go to their house on Sunday afternoons after church so we could nap and then we'd all hang out the rest of the evening. It was so nice to have friends that we both liked and enjoyed being around.
Then when we moved back to Colorado I found myself in the same situation I was in before... I really didn't have any girlfriends my age... I did make new friends... but they either aren't my age or they aren't Christians. It didn't really effect me until lately. Since I'm home with the kids all day my main source of social interaction is Facebook... not exactly satisfying for a social butterfly like myself. It doesn't matter how many friends you have on Facebook, if you don't have face to face contact with real people you don't have as many friends as you thought you did.
So I say all of that to say this... "I NEED FRIENDS...." haha
I don't want to complain about how I don't have any friends and about how desperate I am for female interaction. So I'm doing something about it. I've taken this verse (proverbs 18:24) to heart and decided I'm going to show myself friendly.
There was a young married couple at church today that I REALLY wanted to introduce myself to but I wasn't able to because I had to the run the words, so next week it is my goal to be-friend them... or just introduce myself... either way I will show myself friendly!
I'm really hoping our new next door neighbors will be a young Christian couple... too much to ask?? ;) I plan on baking them some goodies and showing myself friendly when they move in. Even if they're an old couple who aren't Christians it will still be good to show myself friendly.
Showing myself friendly isn't always very easy for me. I've never liked it at church when they say, "go greet someone new".. I typically sit down in my chair and read the bulletin. They used to do it at CFNI as well I would just talk to my roommates or Jordan because they were always sitting next to me.
Another thing about being me is that I'm a young mother. I was 21 when I had my first kid. It's very difficult finding people my age with kids the same age as mine. We took the kids to the library for a story time group and of course I was the youngest mom in there. I have several friends my age with kids the same age as my kids... the only problem is that most of them live in Texas or they moved back 'home' after CFNI and they live in Wisconsin!
Okay enough about this... I've stood on my soap box and told the world about my problem.. now I'm going to climb down and do something about it!!
Oh my friend, I am so, so sorry you're feeling this way!!! Not good one bit! But, Kortnie, I do completely understand. This has been my one constant big struggle since being in Colorado for 11 years now! It has been very difficult. When I moved to Colorado there was no one my age married or with kids and I think that that kind of isolated me from the others in a way since people maybe couldn't relate to me or whatever. I was also from another country and gave up everything I knew and loved to marry the man I loved. Talk about a huge transition! Anyway, all that to say that I do understand very well how lonely it can be. I'm sure you've seen what a hermit I've become, as a result, and now look ... we're neighbors and I haven't been there for you!! I am truly sorry. Please know that I love you and I am always here for you xoxo
ReplyDeleteI am a VERY busy woman. lol It isn't to bad yet because LaiLauna still sleeps a lot and the boys play outside a lot so I do have time get get things done but I feel like my load is heavier. As for being a wife I think I'm doing ok:) I still make dinner and keep the house clean so my husband is always thankful for that.
ReplyDeleteOK SO i just read your post and I know how you feel. When I moved form CO to WA to be with Colby I was so lonely. I really only had him to hang out with and that went on till we moved to HI and I met a friend that wanted to hang out with me. She was older about 7 years older. (we still talk and see one another) But even now I have to do the same things show people that I want to be friends and most of the time I am the one that calls to to do things. Which I like and dislike. Mostly I end up disliking it because I feel like I am making this effort to be friends with someone and when they don't call me and ask me to hang out I always wonder if they really want to be my friend or not. lol I know sounds funny but so true. I feel more like a social butterfly then they are. And since I stay home as well church is the only way that I can make friends. But that is fine with me because everyone that I go to church with is Cristian and we almost always have the same goals for are family. I love that we are down to earth and that we restrain from drinking, smoking, and using bad language or anything such as that. But you are a wonderful person and if I lived closer I would get together with you because even though are churchs are a little different we would make good buddies I think even though we are already friends. And you can just remember the song from Toy Story "You've Got a Friend in Me"
ReplyDeleteGirl, I think this is a struggle for many people.
ReplyDeleteI definitely can relate because I'm just not that friendly, lol. I'm on the shy side and it's difficult for me to put myself out there. But remember that you have the Lord to help you in these situations. And I say, that even if you meet people your age, etc, who aren't Christians, that would be a great opportunity to do some ministry and share the gospel.
I'm praying for you!
Oh my gosh. I can empathize with you completely. Not that I've always gotten along better with guys, but it takes a long time for me to truly connect with other girls. Since moving I've definitely felt the same way as you. It's hard and it does feel like complaining but, it gets lonely! Even having your own family around. Glad I know you though and we connect on this subject! miss you lady :)
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