So...I thought I'd write a little blog about my experience with breast feeding since it will once again be a huge part of my life in only 20 more weeks.
While I was pregnant with Jayden I knew I would breast feed (BF) him after he was born. I didn't take much time to read anything about BFing or ask many questions because I assumed it was a totally natural thing. I imagined him being born and I'd put him right up to my breast and he'd immediately start nursing away and it would be very beautiful for the both of us.
I apparently was daydreaming, because it didn't go anything like that! I had no clue what I was doing and Jayden was just as clueless. We fought and struggled a lot. The sensation of nursing made my face cringe and my toes curl. It was awkward and painful. Since Jayden was so large (9lbs 8oz) he had a hard time keep up his blood sugar because he wasn't getting enough to eat, so then we would supplement with formula. The first couple weeks were rough. I couldn't get him to latch on right, my breasts were hard as rocks from my milk coming in and even just taking my bra off so I could shower was painful, I was really embarrassed to BF in front of people, etc.
I didn't breastfeed in public because I thought it was weird. Besides, making a bottle and feeding him like that was so much easier and convenient. I didn't realize breastfeeding was a lifestyle. I only lasted 4/5 months with Jayden
Now with Gabriella it was a totally different story. We had that magical connection from the very beginning. She latched on properly right away, I felt comfortable with the whole experience and we were off to a great start. And then she landed herself in the NICU and I was having to pump at home and bring the milk to the hospital, where she would drink it and then throw it all up. She had something funky with her tummy when she was first born and she was very particular about the milk she drank. So she was on formula and I was still pumping away to try and keep my supply up for when she decided she would nurse again.
I only worked for 2 weeks when she was 6 weeks old and then I quit my job to stay home with the kids. So I didn't have to worry about pumping, and I could just nurse her when she needed to eat, rather than having the baby sitter feed her a bottle.
I learned how to nurse her while using a blanket to cover us, I accepted I could only wear certain outfits so that I was able to nurse in public, I got over my fear of what other people think about me being a nursing mother and we had a very successful year. Gabriella only took a bottle a few times during her life and refused it all the other times it was offered, so it kind of forced me to BF, but in the end I'm thankful.
A friend of mine once asked, "Isn't it a hassle to have to make a bottle in the kitchen then feed the baby and go put the bottle in the sink and clean it?" I now realize how much effort it was to have to wash all those bottles!!! I'm glad I was able to be successful with Gabriella and I just hope this next baby and I are able to have a similar success story.
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