Anxiety

The anxiety has kicked in full force. I am 37 weeks pregnant today. Every night I go to bed wondering, "will tonight be the night?" I don't know why I always assume I'm going to go into labor at night... It's really annoying because I'm so tired and all I want to do is sleep as much as I can before the baby gets here, but my body won't cooperate.

Adding to my anxiety is not knowing the gender of the baby. You know the feeling you get right before your 20 week ultrasound, the one where you find out the baby's sex? Well, I'm having that along with the anxiety of not knowing when I'm going into labor, feeling unprepared and scared about what kind of labor and delivery I might have. Part of me is hoping that tomorrow when I go for my ob appointment that the doctor will check me and I'll be like 6cm and she'll just offer to admit me and break my water. :) Since I'm already 3cm dilated it's not that far off right? ha!

My sister brought down the cradle that the new baby will be sleeping in for the first few months. Reality is beginning to set in... we're having another baby. Although I know I'm 37 weeks, I'm already dilating, it's not unlikely for me to go into labor within the next couple of week... It still doesn't seem real. Part of me isn't ready to have another baby and part of me can't wait for the baby to be here. I realize I don't make any sense right now... unless maybe you've been through pregnancy before.

We STILL don't have a name picked out... but it could very well be Abigail Grace or Cooper Levi... Those are the only ones that we both sort of like... neither one of them are official.

These last few weeks of pregnancy are the hardest, but I want to enjoy them as much as possible before my life becomes: sleep, eat, changing diapers, repeat. As well as trying to entertain two very active toddlers.

Here's to motherhood!