Frustrated and Discouraged

I haven't written a blog in a while because I've been so busy trying to get this baby to come out. You'd think by the 3rd baby I would have learned that these little babies just come when they're ready and not before. All the silly things people say induces labor aren't helping me. The one thing I will continue to do is walk because I know that even if it doesn't jumpstart my labor, it will help with the position of the baby, it's exercise and it makes the kids tired so they take good naps! :)

I'm 4-5cm dilated and 50% effaced, so you'd think that pretty much anything would send me into labor. I'd had a lot of false labor which only results in a sore belly and back.

Jordan reminded me the other about how big our children are when they're born and that just made me all the more anxious to get this baby out of me! I don't want to be past my due date and then deliver a 10 pound baby (which is totally possible given the size of my previous children).

Pretty much everything I've read online about natural induction says, "If your body is ready then these could help..." well why isn't my body ready?! All the numbers seem like it should be ready. So I wait. Impatiently.. I wait.

I hate feeling frustrated and discouraged, especially over something you CAN'T control.

As we were getting ready to go out for our daily walk I forgot that the chain on Jayden's bike came off yesterday. So after getting all the water bottles filled and everyone's clothes and shoes on, we get all the way to the sidewalk and I realize Jayden can't ride his bike, which means we can't go for a walk and it totally spoiled my plans. So I got down and started trying to fix it myself. I had no clue what I was doing and quite frankly I was about to start crying because I was so frustrated. After about 5 minutes of trying to figure it out, I somehow got it back on properly. So we were still able to go for our walk. But it was as we were walking that I realized I try so hard to take matters into my own hands then get so frustrated when they don't work out. How old will I be when I finally learn to just relax and rely on the Lord and know that He has the perfect plan.

The doctor who delivered both Jayden and Gabriella told me, "God made pregnancy 9 months long so by the end of it women would be more than willing to go through labor and delivery." It's funny how we're so ready to be done being pregnant that we're ready to go through the most intense pain we've ever experienced.

I know this baby won't stay locked inside of me much longer and we'll have that precious newborn in our arms soon, but darn this waiting game is hard!